Shelf Life

The Spirit of Hunger

Amongst the qualities that are most sought after in resorts, the ones that are d the most include luxury, relaxation, family convenience, and of course, romantic atmosphere. The latter is a coveted trait especially sought after by resort owners. Ad managers fill their brochures with flower petal backgrounds, and cheesy taglines like “New England's best place to kiss.” Just to spice things up a bit, they'll put in pictures of happy couples sharing romantic moments—and there the magic is ruined. Ad managers apparently don't seem to understand the idea that pictures of random couples don't necessarily equate to romance. In fact, sometimes people might be turned off to a place just because the people in the brochures are so incredibly unattractive. Couples seeking a quiet place to spend a few romantic nights nuzzling one another want to see pictures of starry-eyed lovers with wine in their hands, fawning under a backdrop of placid lakes and twinkling stars—not old people sitting on a bench eating sandwiches. They want to see happily married couples dancing in a field—not gawking at a cabin's wall décor. I'm well aware that many happy couples do spend copious amounts of time eating sandwiches on a bench, but when the word “romance” is uttered, one generally thinks of a quiet chat in front of a fireplace, not a gnarled housewife petting a cow. I do respect whomever job it is to take pictures for brochures, but perhaps it's time that they opened their eyes to the present and changed their marketing tactics a little. After all, as much as I think it might be fun to watch local villagers weave a basket, it certainly doesn't make me want to drag a significant other there with me. Maybe when I'm older.

And now, Shelf Life.

Shelf Worthy ADV Films 75 min. 2/4 $29.98 09/02/2003 After a fun and chipper introductory volume, King of Bandit Jing continues to steal viewer hearts and laughter with the second disc. Although a steady story has yet to be established, it's well on its way to show that sometimes, a story arc just doesn't matter. The first episode on the disc starts off as a light-hearted escapade to steal a girl who has been put up on the auction block. As if the cheerful banter between the characters wasn't enough to entertain, the experience is enhanced by the beautiful artwork and set design. Taking place in the Technicolor Town of Pompier, the backgrounds are bright and almost cartoon-like, giving the visual experience an even sweeter sensation. Sadly, there are only three episodes on the disc, but the last two make up a two-parter that make the disc worth it. Introducing a girl named Vermouth and her partner, they are on the search for eternal life, using Jing and Kir to help get what they need. As the conflicts (and the womanizing) heat up, the series definitely takes a turn for the more exciting. Proving itself to be one of the most fun series of this season, King of Bandit Jing certainly deserves a place on your shelf. It's rather painful paying $30 for only three episodes, but considering the enjoyment waiting for you on the disc, it's certainly a steal.

Bandai Entertainment 125 min. 2/6 $29.98 09/02/2003 If it weren't for the colorful characters and the unpredictable plot, s-CRY-ed would be one of the dumbest shows ever made. A cartoon about mutants capturing other mutants? As it is, the story is rather engaging, with enough twists in the story to keep viewers glued to their seats, trapped in the Reckless Fire that is s-CRY-ed. Unlike many other action-oriented shows, however, the fight scenes in this series are certainly not the highlight. In fact, with the rare exceptions that involve truly jaw-dropping rivals (like the fights between Kazuma's Shell Bullet and Ryuhou's Zetsuei), the fights are either pitiful excuses for comedy, or most usually, a trite exercise in repetition and cheesy lines. Every single fight involving Kazuma follows the exact same formula in a timely matter so much that his Special Attack sequences can be timed with a stopwatch. In this volume, HOLY is on a capturing rampage, quarantining all of the Native Alters for their own lucrative purposes. It's Kazuma's goal to try to break into—and out of—HOLD Headquarters to try and figure out what's going on. This is one of the coolest shows out there right now, and while the fight scenes may be lame, the overall action-filled atmosphere of the series gives a mighty kick to the show. This is something you shouldn't up.

.hack//SIGN Vol. #4: Omnipotence Special Edition Bandai Entertainment 100 min. 4/6 $39.98 09/02/2003 After four volumes, three things have been established. A) Tsukasa is a whiny little wuss. B) Someone needs to slap that kid. C) Every “revelation” that is made will only confirm something that viewers already knew in the first volume. As Tsukasa et al get soundly punished in a fight, Bear and Mimiru jump back to their last save point. The problem is, when Tsukasa meets up with them again, he's lost chunks of memory from his mind. Serving only to show viewers that yes, Tsukasa is firmly part of the game, the episode is an exasperating tangent that merely affirms the same blatant fact time and time again. While the series is getting more interesting as more facets of the game world unfolds, the pacing is still ludicrously slow. With viewers still knowing the exact amount of information as they knew in the first volume, this gets a bit tedious. By now, it's also apparent that the same three music tracks are being cycled endlessly, which is rather annoying. Despite all of that, .hack//SIGN up until now, there's no turning back.

Spirit of Wonder Bandai Entertainment 97 min. 1/1 $29.98 09/02/2003 When I first watched the original Spirit of Wonder is a trip back to a youth that you've probably never lived.

Rental Shelf Urban Vision 90 min. 1/? $24.95 09/02/2003 Without a doubt, the Ninja Scroll TV series that makes it so much more appealing than the movie. While the demons in the original were intriguing enough to watch, the enemies are even more vibrant in the series. Featuring gargantuan metallic monsters to women who shoot plant roots out of their limbs, there's enough action to keep viewers interested. As of yet, however, the story is suffering the same problem that its predecessor did— not enough drive. In fact, the characters are the only thing keeping the production afloat, coloring the sparse ninja-of-the-week, mission-based storyline. I'm still wary that the show may eventually degenerate into the violence-fest that marked the movie (and consequently helped to give anime such a bad rap in the US), but the series is showing potential. If you didn't like the movie the first time around, there's certainly nothing here that will capture your fancy, but for the neutral people out there, this might be the thing to pique your interest.

Full Metal Panic Vol. #3 ADV Films 100 min. 3/7 $29.98 09/02/2003 As the first arc crashes to a satisfying close, the series saves itself from rote repetition by steering away from the Full Metal Panic! tradition though, the dark fighting is always lightened up by playful character interactions and humour, and this goes for the third volume as well, with the last episode ending on a perky slap-stick note. While this may keep viewers who are not violence inclined interested, for the people that would rather see the story uninterrupted by tangential fluff, this is a letdown every time it happens. It may frustrate some viewers to see a fast-paced storyline suddenly halted with extraneous prattle and cheap laughs. Either way, Full Metal Panic! is a healthy alternative to rampant boredom, so if you're looking for something to procrastinate your workload, this may be the title for you.

Please Teacher Vol. #3: The Honeymoon's Over Bandai Entertainment 100 min. 3/4 $29.98 09/02/2003 Depending on how much you like this show, these four episodes will either be one of the best shounen romance series, there comes a time when the writers decide to dip into the requisite “relationship insecurities and misunderstandings” pool and test the strength of the characters love and faith. While this may be an important part to understanding a relationship, it's still painfully redundant when done over and over again. In this volume, jealousies run high as a variety of people show up to steal away one half of the couple. As Kei and Mizuho slowly and reluctantly explore the possibility of breaking up, angst and emotions run high and wild. If you've been avidly following this series up until now, this will be the perfect time to really get to know the characters. All of their emotions come flooding onto the screen, giving depth to their relationships and histories. As the characters pour out wisdom much too smart for them, it's a great time to see their true natures. On the other hand, if a series about teachers dating their students just really isn't your cup of tea, then this disc will just make you want to go out and shoot something. The character insights are overdone and rather trite, and the people are so exasperatingly stupid and naïve in their sheltered, over-protective, jealous lives that it's painful to watch them make fools of themselves on the screen. Truly, this is a series that relies heavily enough on personal viewer taste to not be a rental.

Saiyuki Vol. #4 ADV Films 100 min. 4/? $29.98 09/02/2003 Although Saiyuki started off as a rapidly degenerating monster-of-the-week show starring unpretty pretty boys who wandered around making a pointless show even more pointless... well, it's picking up. The first episode on the disc punches viewers in the gut with a surprising sortie into the past, digging straight to the hearts of the characters' troubled histories. Viewers get to learn how they first met, their motivations for their actions, and the tragic events that shaped their personalities. Because of this episode, the barrier of male pseudo-aloofness is chipped, allowing the men to start down the path of closer friendship and bonding. Just through this episode alone, viewers get a much keener sense of who these people really are, transforming a dry show into, well, a show that's still dry, but with more of a nod towards what makes these men tick. The following episodes go back to the normal standalone routine, but now that viewers harbor a softer sensation towards the characters, it's much easier to watch than before. Altogether, the director did a good job of kicking the series back onto the right path. What was once doomed to be a failing operation is now resurrected again and with a new heart to go with it. If you haven't been impressed with the series up till now, it might behoove you to give it another chance.

Love Hina Again Bandai Entertainment 75 min. 1/1 $29.98 09/02/2003 Oh no, not again! Yes, you heard me, it's happened again. Presented by Bandai Enta'tainment, it's Christmas special.

FUNimation Productions 60 min. 16/? $24.95 09/02/2003 Kurama fangirls, this is your chance to drool to your heart's content. With three episodes on this disc devoted almost solely to that man, you'll be able to sit and stare until your eyes pop out. Available dubbed and edited, or bilingual and uncut by FUNimation, this disc presents episodes never before shown on TV. The Dark Tournament finals are in full swing, and Kurama's set to go against some creepy guy named Kurasu. Things aren't looking too good for the redhead, but after transforming into Yoko Kurama, things may just take a turn for the better. Either that, or he'll get his butt kicked, triggering a heart-wrenching sob from fans that could be heard all the way in Zimbabwe. This is definitely not one of the better Yu Fan though, this isn't worth much more than a rental.

That's it for this week, folks, so quit dawdling and get outta here! See you next time!